Imagine holding a backpack full of bricks. Each brick is something you’re told you should care about. “Speak up about racism.” “Be an entrepreneur.” “Get an internship.” “Fight for the planet.” “Be strong for your family.” “Post the right thing.” “Don’t mess up.” “Make a difference.”

No one tells you how to carry the backpack. No one teaches you how to take breaks. Or how to breathe. Or how to say, “I’m not okay.”

This is the silent story of so many students. We look fine on the outside, but inside we’re overwhelmed. We scroll on Instagram and see everyone achieving. We try to keep up. But no one posts their fears, their breakdowns, or their quiet days of doubt.

When I was a student, I often felt like I needed to be perfect. Get perfect grades. Land the dream job. Be kind, confident, smart, and calm — every single day. I felt like I had to fix things that were broken in the world. Climate change. Mental health. Inequality. And I wasn’t alone.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve had honest conversations with more than 200 students. What I heard wasn’t just stress. It was a quiet cry for help.

They said things like:

“I care about so many things, but I don’t know where to start.”

“I’m tired of pretending I’m okay when I’m falling behind.”

“I feel like I have to change the world, but no one showed me how to take care of me.”

We tell young people to lead movements, fix broken systems, and speak up for justice. But we forget to give them the tools to handle that pressure. We forget they’re still learning who they will be as people. And we rarely say, “You’re good and strong just as you are.” This isn’t just a college problem. It’s a people problem. It’s what happens when expectations grow louder than support.

This isn’t just a college problem. It’s a people problem. It’s what happens when expectations grow louder than support.

Let’s be clear: Stress isn’t always bad. Some stress is actually good for us. It pushes us to show up, to prepare, to grow. I have worked at startups, as well as big consulting firms like Deloitte and EY, and yes, everything you’ve heard is true. There’s pressure, deadlines, new problems every day. But I also saw something else. I saw how stress, when supported with teamwork, trust, and celebrating small wins, can make you stronger.

Some of my most demanding managers became my greatest teachers. I learned how to think fast, stay calm, and keep going because I wasn’t alone. I had people to guide me, challenge me, and remind me that growth doesn’t happen in silence. It happens when we reflect, learn, and lean on others.

That’s the difference between healthy stress and harmful stress. It’s about not just how much you carry but whether you feel supported during that time. When we never pause, when we never reflect or ask for help, stress turns into burnout. And burnout turns into breakdowns.

Action feels better than overthinking.

An important lesson I learned from my mentors and coaches who supported me in my journey is that purpose is what wakes you up. Not the buzz. Not the likes. Not the trends. Don’t wait for motivation. Build discipline.

It’s not about how strong you feel one day.

It’s about showing up, even when you don’t feel like it.

It’s about what you do again and again.

We don’t become leaders by talking. We grow by doing. And if young people are taught how to take small steps, one at a time, they build confidence. They take action. They shine.

I wish someone had told me sooner, so I’m amplifying these lessons here: 

Your journey doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.

You can be both kind and bold.

Asking for help is a strength.

You don’t have to save the world alone.

We need to give youth these messages with tools and mentors that can back them up. We need to remind them that they matter as people, not just as achievers. We can create systems that support their growth, not just their performance. We can move from saying, “Take care of your mental health,” to actually showing them how. 

We tell them it’s not about being perfect. It’s about being present.

We don’t need a generation of burnt-out heroes. We need a generation of strong, kind, purpose-driven humans. That’s how we build a better world. And that’s how we shine. 

Deepanshi Bansal is a Babson College M.B.A. graduate (class of 2024) and founder of ShineQuo, a student-centered space combining action-oriented life coaching, peer support, and executive functioning support to build essential life skills for college and beyond.